One Way or Another, This Darkness Has Got to Give

It was a violent week in America.

Susan J. Demas photo

This was a dark, terrible week for America. On Wednesday, a prominent right-wing influencer was murdered in front of a crowd of students in Utah. While that was happening, four students were murdered at a high school in Colorado.

That evening, the President of the United States sat at the Resolute Desk and spewed divisive “us versus them” rhetoric targeted at the “radical left” at a time when we had next to no official reports of who the shooter was or his motive.

In the wake of the speech, at least six Historically Black Colleges and Universities were put on lockdown over threats. There were also false reports of active shooters on the campuses of the University of Massachusetts and the U.S. Naval Academy.

All of this took place on what was the anniversary of the most significant terrorist attack on American soil in our lifetimes. To say this week was emotional, heavy, and terrifying would be grossly underplaying it. We are beyond the point of crisis in this country.

It’s a lot to unpack and I have been trying to do that for days. I need to start with the assassination of Charlie Kirk. I do not believe in whitewashing someone’s legacy after death. Charlie Kirk was a bully who made his living targeting marginalized communities. He was an instigator, a propagandist and a misogynistic, homophobic, racist. He was a Christian Nationalist who somehow missed the memo that followers of Christ are called to LOVE others. His vitriolic, shock jock, hate-fueled rhetoric has led to threats of violence against vulnerable populations and innocent people. He once said “I can’t stand the word empathy, actually. I think empathy is a made-up, new age term that–it does a lot of damage.”

Two things can be true at once. I personally believe Charlie Kirk was a dangerous, horrible person who said dangerous, horrible things, but I also strongly believe HE. DIDN’T. DESERVE. TO. DIE. FOR. IT. Violence is never okay and political violence is especially disturbing in what is supposed to be a democratic society where freedom of speech is paramount.

I am ashamed to admit that my first response to the news that shots had been fired at Charlie Kirk was pretty cold and callous. I didn’t know the severity at the time, but that’s not an excuse to lose my humanity. I have been searching for days to find out what in the fuck was wrong with me that my first response to an act of violence against my fellow man was essentially “welp, karma is a bitch,” ESPECIALLY considering where I work and what *I* do for a living.

It knocked me into a spiral of self-reflection and self-crisis. Who or what have I become? As a friend and colleague smacked me across the head with pointed out, if we don’t condemn this act absolutely, we are no better than what we are fighting. He was right and the shame I felt in that moment was something I am not likely to forget anytime soon, especially as the horrifically graphic videos and photos of his murder were released to the public. I honestly felt sick.

When emotions are big, mixed, and confusing, it’s time to take a HUGE step back and try to name what we’re feeling and why to help us process it. America has become desensitized to acts of violence. Generations of Americans have watched these events become commonplace and routine, awash with empty wishes of “thoughts and prayers,” forgotten before the victims have even been laid to rest. Even as I write this, I find it astounding. We have forgotten these victims were people – no different than we are – who had families, friends, dreams, and futures. They aren’t statistics – they were living, breathing, human beings. It’s easy to compartmentalize when you see people as strangers, as “them” as “others.”

The reality is, “they” aren’t some different species, and “they” aren’t strangers at all. “They” are your neighbor, the woman in line in front of you at the grocery store, and the kids riding their bikes down your street. “They” are you. Because to everyone else, you are a “they” too. This is what we are missing. We are ALL part of this community of America. It’s not “us” versus “them” because there is no such thing as “them.” It’s all just “us,” and once upon a time we all remembered that. What happened?

We don’t dive deeper than the surface anymore. We don’t read more than a headline. We search for confirmation bias. We have become lazy; fat on our own egos, rightness, and superiority. We have replaced compassion and empathy with whataboutisms and finger pointing. We have lost community. We’ve disregarded the idea we are stronger together than we are divided. We have forgotten our humanity and because of it, we are losing our nation. We owe it to our children and the future to remember who and what we are. Martin Luther King was right, y’all. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.

Ryan Wiggins is Chief of Staff of The Lincoln Project. Subscribe to her A More Perfect Union Substack and follow her on X at @Ryan_N_Wiggins and on BlueSky at @Ryan-N-Wiggins.bsky.social.

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