The Degradation of Public Service: Kristi Noem, Corey Lewandowski, and the New GOP
Welcome to open mic night at the Losers’ Convention.
To most casual observers, the pair of Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski appears to be yet another of Donald Trump’s unserious choices to run a desperately serious arm of the United States government. Along with Pete Hegseth, Kash Patel, RFK Jr., they traipse across the American stage like open mic night at the Losers’ Convention, hosted at that dying casino you stumbled across when your GPS failed.
Unless you worked in Republican politics — a life choice I increasingly regret — it’s difficult to grasp the degradation of public service these two star-crossed lovers embody. To place any aspect of national security in their care is like asking a longtime heroin junkie who snorted cocaine off of toilet seats to run America’s public health system. Yeah, Republicans did that too.
Let’s start with Corey Lewandoski.
As a quick overview, that’s the Corey Lewandowski who was:
Busted for trying to bring a gun into the Longworth House Office building.
Charged with battery for trying to stop a female reporter from questioning Donald Trump in the 2016 campaign.
Accused of sexual assault by Joy Villa.
Accused of sexual assault by the wife of a major Republican donor. He entered a plea agreement, paid a fine, was required to serve 50 hours of community service, and undergo impulse control counseling.
Working for Scott Brown in his race against Senator Jeanne Shaheen, Lewandoski debated a cardboard cutout of Shaheen. The general consensus was that the cutout won. Brown lost the race.
Fired as Donald Trump’s 2016 campaign manager and replaced by longtime Russian collaborator and convicted felon, Paul Manafort.
At a time when New Hampshire was facing a critical shortage of police officers, Lewandowski graduated from the New Hampshire police academy. His career peaked when he was named a seasonal Marine patrol officer tasked with boating safety. “I like Corey,” a former Republican officeholder told me. “He inspected my boat and passed it.”
Now Lewandowski often describes himself as a “former law enforcement official,” which is true in the same way Kristi Noem is a famous pet owner.