Secure the Oxygen Mask over your own Face Before Helping Others

Fighting fascism takes a personal toll on us all. It's not only OK to step away sometimes — it's essential.

Pacific Ocean in Malibu | Susan J. Demas

Lately I have not been doing well. Like a huge chunk of the American population, I was devastated by the outcome of the 2024 election. Unlike my fellow Americans, however, this toxic gumbo of politics, culture wars, ICE raids, Epstein files, tariffs, wars, and incompetency is literally my job. I cannot put it down. I cannot step away. I cannot ignore it and go about my life because my professional life, and therefore my personal life, is directly tied to the news cycle and the shitshow that is currently American politics.

After 10 years of fighting Trump and six years before that fighting the tea party movement that was successfully cannibalizing the Republican Party, I am exhausted and frustrated. I am tired of living in a world keyboard cowboys cosplay. I am irritated that with two master’s degrees in politics, decades of real experience in the field, consuming more real news in a day than most consume in a week, and having daily conversations with people who are unequivocal experts in American politics, I still have to convince Joe Sixpack that I may have just a little bit more information on the current state of American politics than the average bear.

A couple of weeks ago, I was really feeling out of sorts. I had begun getting migraines and ocular migraines once or twice a week. I was losing words, losing my train of thought mid-sentence, and losing my temper in ways that were not appropriate. I was agitated in my daily life. Even *I* didn’t want to be around me. The pressure of everything was building and impacting not only my emotional health, but my physical health, too.

There’s no crying in politics or baseball, but two weeks ago, after a particular dizzying day of following this trainwreck of an administration, I was ready to walk away from a career I had fought my ass off to build. I was deep in the darkness. The inhumanity and evilness of Alligator Alcatraz, a concentration camp in my own state, pushed me over the edge.

I felt helpless to fix my country in that moment. I was sick of the lack of accountability and laws “that apply to thee but not me.” I was over elected officials not having the balls to even protect their own constitutional authority. I was tired of the shitty comments from shittier people and the irrational mental gymnastics of the Fox News crowd. I was beyond angry with the lack of civics education in this country and the arrogant dismissal of those of us who are educated on all of this who are just trying to educate our fellow Americans. I was equally irritated at the apathy of those who are in the position to help this fight but are “too depressed,” “too exhausted,” or otherwise too bothered to be bothered when my colleagues and I are on the front lines of this hateful, vitriolic, dangerous fight every single day.

Why should I care if others don’t? Why should I give up my mental and physical health to fight a fight that so many others just don’t care about? Every day I felt like Sisyphus and that damn rock was getting heavier. To say I was burned out would have been a gross understatement.

I didn’t quit, but I did take a vacation — a REAL vacation. I took a break. I detached myself from my phone. I didn’t read a single news story. I didn’t check in on work. I largely stayed off social media. I spent nine days reading fiction, having conversations about anything but politics, spending time with my family, recharging my batteries and remembering what brought me into this fight to begin with.

And guess what? After nine days of self-care and media detox, I was better. The headaches stopped. My shoulders dropped, my jaw relaxed, and my agitation diminished. I didn’t need to quit. I didn’t need to stick my head in the sand either. I needed to take a break. I needed to take care of myself and I need to be better at doing that before I get to that point.

It is a devastating world we are currently living in. The daily news cycles will break your heart repeatedly without apologizing. People are brittle and trying to survive the onslaught of negativity and sometimes survival is ugly.

I’m here to tell you, even those of us deeply in the fight have bad days. I’m here to tell you that everyone needs a break so that they don’t break and there is no shame in that— it’s brave. But I’m also here to tell you that apathy is complacency and that is what Trump wants more than anything. It’s what all fascist dictators want. Because where there is apathy and complacency, there is no fight, and when there’s no fight, the fascists win.

I’ve returned to my baseline and I’m back in the fight this week. I’m glad to be back. For those of you who are tired, broken, angry, depressed, and feeling hopeless, you’ve got a friend in me. I’ve been there and will certainly be back there off and on over the remainder of Trump’s occupation of the Oval, but I’ve also found my way out. I had to learn that I was worthless to anyone else if I didn’t take care of me and my mental health first. We are going to be experiencing turbulent air for the foreseeable future. Please make sure the oxygen mask is securely over your own face first before you try to help others.

Take a break. Feel the sun on your shoulders and the breeze in your hair. Remember what you love most about your life and your country and remember THAT is what you are fighting for. Then pick back up your armor and get back in the foxhole. America needs you in this fight.

Ryan Wiggins is Chief of Staff of The Lincoln Project. Subscribe to her A More Perfect Union Substack and follow her on X at @Ryan_N_Wiggins and on BlueSky at @Ryan-N-Wiggins.bsky.social. Read the original column here.

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