'How DARE the Fake News Say I Don’t Give a Sh*t about Anyone?… I Am Sh*tting on EVERYONE!'

We obtained a recording of a private rant by America’s monarch when we were accidentally added to a White House group on Signal. (**This is satire**)

His Royal Majesty recently gave an impromptu talk to some guests at Mar-a-Lago, I obtained a recording that someone there made on their phone and sent it out on Signal. Apparently, I was accidentally added to the group for the message.Here is the full, unedited transcript:

How DARE the Fake News say I don’t give a shit about anyone but myself and billion…